Blog title…

Seeing if this shows up just on my wordpress – I am trying to find streamline all of my digital presences…let’s see if it works…I am most interested in tracking analytics for social media, email, mobile & websites – this link might provide me with some information. We shall see how Ping.fm helps in this regard as well…. http://ping.fm/YWIcj

2010 = Action

This year, this year of 2010, is going to be one of action.

Particularly, I believe this year will be a year of love in action. Actually, love to me is an action – it cannot be manifested, expressed and embraced unless it comes in the form of an action. Even the mere act of saying, “I love you” to another individual, is an action that you have taken. But I emphasize “love in action” to underscore the fact that love, just like anything else worth having in this world, cannot and will not come about simply by talking about it. It just will not.

Now, it may seem as if I am writing something that everyone already knows. It is true…of course things only happen when you take action. However, how many of us actually do it? How many of us actually stop talking to ourselves about taking action and actually do it? Not many of us at all. Why? Because we do not believe that we have the capacity to change.

However, now I have proof of our capacity to change. I have grown a lot since I began this blog almost three years ago and it has been amazing to just re-read my old posts and reflect upon how far I have come as a person. It makes my heart swell with joy and pride…to revisit old blog posts, old situations, old friends and to feel more expansive and understanding of myself. It is such a beautiful feeling to know that you have grown and continue to grow. Which only makes me more hopeful for the future — if I have the capacity to change, than for me that indicates that we all can and do in fact change/evolve. So, if we all change over time…then that means that people can and do in fact become more evolved versions of themselves. More authentic, grounded and loving versions of themselves — at least that is my hope. And I hope for it now more than ever since I now know that it is completely possible.

Now, I am not writing anything that is new under the sun or even anything that I have never expressed before — the difference now is that I am revisiting these thoughts and now I fully believe them…and I wanted to share that with you all. I have changed, I have evolved even when I thought I was not — so, if all of this change occurred when I was not really looking…then imagine what will happen now that I am consciously taking action to do so????? Hahahaha — yep, this is definitely going to be a year of action. A great year of action indeeed.

Starting Over…

Soooo….I have decided that I am going to start over.

I am just going to completely start over with my life…completely.

Because chasing something that I tell myself is going to make me happy…knowing full well that it won’t — yea, I am just going to let that whole notion go. I am going to stop trying to convince myself of a goal or a purpose for what I do and I am going to stop trying to fit myself into a summary of sorts for other people. I am just going to start over. Not for anyone else but for myself…and maybe my future grandbabies, lol.

I want to be proud of myself and the life I have lived when I am nice, ripe and old. I want to be able to look back, smile and laugh at the things I did, the risks I took and the leaps of faith that I engaged in — why? Simply so that I have no regrets. I have always hated the thought of having lived a life full of regrets…and I am not going to ever stop hating that. Besides, some of the greatest choices I have ever made in my life came from me taking a leap of faith, doing something slightly crazy — and you know what? I have yet to fall. Not that I have not failed….but I have not fallen and not been able to get back up again. Soooo…I am starting over. Hmmm…it feels good to say it…it just feels right.

Rebooting now…..  ;-)

“…it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. Start
whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”

~Screenplay, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Patience

I have to thank God…because God is good all of the time. All of the time.

I am not perfect nor am I always doing/saying/being the best I can be.

But I acknowledge and love the fact that God is good all of the time.

Here I am this evening, fretting over a boy…wondering what he thinks of me, how I am perceived by Him, etc…and I decide to call up a good guy friend of mine for his advice (this is the beauty of having close male friends by the way…they are great at giving advice when it comes to understanding men, lol). He and I chatted for a bit and we both were able to give each other some pretty good advice. But the best part was that after speaking with my buddy, I realized that I was putting way too much energy into this guy. Not because he may not be deserving of it nor is it because I do not deserve to give my energy to any one particular person…but simply, because I realized I was giving him too much attention because I was operating from a point of fear. I was afraid that if this guy did not respond to me when and in the fashion that I wanted, then it must mean that he doesn’t care or that he is not interested in me. Which speaks to my deeper fear that I am not wanted, lovable, sexy, beautiful, hot, fun, sweet, etc…all of the things I like to think I am. I was making his actions/words/reactions bigger than they actually are by projecting my insecurities onto him, unknowingly. And after speaking to my boy, he reminded me that I just needed to do my own thing and basically take it one day at a time.

Which brings me back to why I am so grateful to God. You see, over these past two years, God has been taking me on a journey into myself, my fears, insecurities, doubts and so much…allowing me to not only deeply experience them but to see them for what they are (which is how this blog even manifested, lol). And I have had to be patient through all of it — there was no way for me to rush my way past any of it or ignore any of it…it always showed up right back in front of me. With that said, I recognized (again but much sooner this time, lol) that I just have to be patient. I cannot rush what it is that I want…I cannot rush into things nor can I assume the worst when something does not go my way. That is not life. Life is just life. Love is just love. And keeping that in the forefront of my mind keeps me grounded in the fact that God would not bring me through any of this if He did not have a purpose for me AND that it is more important to just enjoy the moment, be present and let life be — that is the only way for one to grow anyways.

Sartre Meets Afghanistan: Obama’s “No Exit” Strategy

All I know is that whether or not we are able to get out of Afghanistan by the set timeline of July 2011, the American people still need to find a way to sustain this country. We, the American people and all of the people’s of this world — we have to stand on our own. Not in the sense that we ignore others but the complete opposite..­.that we learn to take care of each other, lift ourselves up, figure out ways to not let people fall through the cracks and push our local, city, national and global communities to be better, to do better and to create better futures for ourselves. We cannot completely depend on the government to do everything because it cannot.

I have no idea if President Obama is lying to the American people, if he is being naive, or if he is being highly strategic and we just can’t see it. All I know is that whatever future we want for ourselves, we are not going to get there by sitting back and waiting for the government to do it for us. Discussion is how people begin to generate ideas and lead to productive, positive action.

Bad things always happen…i­t doesn’t mean it cannot be turned into a positive outcome. We just have to remain engaged.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Here comes 2010…. :-)

Wow….it is already December 2009. I cannot believe how fast this year has flown and how much I have experienced in this short amount of time.

I have not traveled very much this year, nor have I tackled many world issues. But what I have accomplished this year is a greater sense of myself. It took me at least two years to wander around trying to figure myself out, trying to figure out what I wanted, trying to determine if I felt confident enough asking for it, etc. Trust though that I am still trying to find myself and get a firmer grip on who I am.

But I have become so much clearer than I even was six months ago. It is amazing how I began this year, saying that we all should be divine in 2009. Now, I do not know if I have been “divine” in the definition of being ’supremely good’ or even being related from a deity. All I know is that I have relied more on my intuition/insight this year than I have ever done in the past. I have followed what my gut has told me and I am learning more and more to trust it — even when it may not seem as if I should be or when I falter and try to second guess my own intuition. In that regard, I have had a divine 2009 — a year full of discovering aspects of myself from my own intuition and insight. I have been able to divine parts of myself and am learning to own those parts.

I have a long way to go…I am sure that I do. However, all I know…all I know is that I am exactly where I need to be at this very moment…all I can do is keep on following my intuition, keep on praying to God and keep on trusting that there is a greater plan for me (even when I don’t see it). I will go through pain, rejection, sadness and so much more. But I have also experienced and will continue to experience so much love and joy that I am excited to see what 2010 brings. I am very eager to see what comes next…I am eager. Thank you God.

Update: I just re-read this post of mine from December 2008 — and it made me smile so very much because it reminded me of how much I have grown in my own self-awareness, expression and love. But more importantly, it has shown me how far God has brought me, on this journey through myself, in just one year. If all of this has occurred in just one year — I am too excited to see what is coming next. With God right by my side — it will always be all good. Thank you God so very much.

December 2008: http://oshunlife7.wordpress.com/2008/12/06/i-am-enough/

Obama’s Afghan War Plan: Nine Key Points

Very curious to listen to tonight’s speech….­because with this President.­..with this President we were not anticipating more years of senseless war. Is this choice “inevitable”? Is it that “necessary”? Really, President Obama? We shall see…we shall see. I know many who are disappoint­ed…I bite my tongue on this one, in anticipation of what unfolds.

Read Michael Moore’s open letter from yesterday in the interim –> http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-moore/an-open-letter-to-preside_b_373457.html

If Michael is right, President Obama might have a very tough reelection season. Oh boy… :-/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/12/01/obamas-afghan-war-plan-ni_n_375661.html
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

A Different Perspective…

I know what fear feels like. Not that fear that is caused by a frightening movie, experience or another individual. No…I am referring to that fear that exists in the back of your mind, right in the corner of your soul…that if you are not paying attention, it can take over your sight, your mouth, your heart like a veil over all that you use to express yourself. I know what that feels like…to feel like you are watching yourself and feeling trapped to truly be yourself. I know.

Hell, that is why I write…to speak who I truly am, to call courage to me, to encourage myself to pull out my true self and show it to the world. Why am I bringing all of this up now? Why am I speaking of this fear that can be so suffocating that you begin to think it is who you are? Because I now know what it feels like to feel the complete opposite of that fear.

I know what it feels like to have a sense of peace. To recognize the fear, to recognize the seeds of doubt, to recognize the oncoming suffocation, the oncoming anxiety, the growing frantic sense of being — and recognize it for what it really is….false evidence appearing real. I have said this so many times before but I now know what it FEELS like. And there is something very powerful in knowing something and actually believing it. I am a feeler, so things take root for me when I feel the power of it all. I now sit with a sense of peace for my future.

It is not that I do not have fear nor doubts…I do. They still come along, they still try to take root, they still try to take me over and suffocate my soul, my being, my body. But now that I know what peace feels like…I know that these doubts, fears and insecurities are not what I want. They are not for me. I thank them for their appearance but I keep it moving. Because I know that God has something bigger for me…I know because I feel it from my toes to the crown of my head. I thank God for this peace. I thank God for placing me in that space where He filled me up with peace and love.

I used to be terrified that I would never find someone in this life who would love me or would be broken if I was ever gone from this Earth. But what I understand now is that I am beyond blessed with so many people in my life who love me beyond understanding and would be deeply pained if I left this Earth. And I recognize that I would feel the same about them. And I understand that one day I will “lose” the people I love…but not today, not right now. So I honor them and the love they have for me by honoring their presence and accepting their love. And when I do “lose” them, I won’t really lose them because I would have spent so much time loving and being loved by them that I would have no regrets or worries that they didn’t understand the amount of love I had for them. And that is all we can hope for, right? Knowing that although we come into and leave this world alone — that we are not alone…that we are loved and that we have loved. Most importantly, I understand that what keeps me free is NOT me running from getting too close to people, NOT me being fearful of people seeing the real me and then wanting to walk away, NOT me hiding my heart from those who wish to love me…no, what keeps me free is loving and receiving love. I feel more free now than ever before.

Thank you God. Thank you for this peace and love. Thank you.

Make Everything Your Own

I have to completely agree with Mr. Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson…and this theory and practice obviously works well for him. He has built an empire unto himself…he came in as a hustler, a rapper hungry for independence of everyone. And he has done it…and he continues to do it. I respect the man for this tenacity and focus…and his independence. It is something I strive to gain more of each and every day — doing what resonates most with me and trusting my own decisions, vision and voice. It ain’t easy but it is highly feasible and important to do. I hate being dependent upon others or acting from a space where I cannot stand on my own two feet…

What he states here is the same as what Marianne Williamson speaks to — believing in our own truth, embracing it and trusting in it not only liberates ourselves but liberates those around us to remember and see that it is feasible to do it and that it is so well worth it. Freedom to be oneself is the utmost freedom any of us can ever experience. Ever.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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