A Different Perspective…

I know what fear feels like. Not that fear that is caused by a frightening movie, experience or another individual. No…I am referring to that fear that exists in the back of your mind, right in the corner of your soul…that if you are not paying attention, it can take over your sight, your mouth, your heart like a veil over all that you use to express yourself. I know what that feels like…to feel like you are watching yourself and feeling trapped to truly be yourself. I know.

Hell, that is why I write…to speak who I truly am, to call courage to me, to encourage myself to pull out my true self and show it to the world. Why am I bringing all of this up now? Why am I speaking of this fear that can be so suffocating that you begin to think it is who you are? Because I now know what it feels like to feel the complete opposite of that fear.

I know what it feels like to have a sense of peace. To recognize the fear, to recognize the seeds of doubt, to recognize the oncoming suffocation, the oncoming anxiety, the growing frantic sense of being — and recognize it for what it really is….false evidence appearing real. I have said this so many times before but I now know what it FEELS like. And there is something very powerful in knowing something and actually believing it. I am a feeler, so things take root for me when I feel the power of it all. I now sit with a sense of peace for my future.

It is not that I do not have fear nor doubts…I do. They still come along, they still try to take root, they still try to take me over and suffocate my soul, my being, my body. But now that I know what peace feels like…I know that these doubts, fears and insecurities are not what I want. They are not for me. I thank them for their appearance but I keep it moving. Because I know that God has something bigger for me…I know because I feel it from my toes to the crown of my head. I thank God for this peace. I thank God for placing me in that space where He filled me up with peace and love.

I used to be terrified that I would never find someone in this life who would love me or would be broken if I was ever gone from this Earth. But what I understand now is that I am beyond blessed with so many people in my life who love me beyond understanding and would be deeply pained if I left this Earth. And I recognize that I would feel the same about them. And I understand that one day I will “lose” the people I love…but not today, not right now. So I honor them and the love they have for me by honoring their presence and accepting their love. And when I do “lose” them, I won’t really lose them because I would have spent so much time loving and being loved by them that I would have no regrets or worries that they didn’t understand the amount of love I had for them. And that is all we can hope for, right? Knowing that although we come into and leave this world alone — that we are not alone…that we are loved and that we have loved. Most importantly, I understand that what keeps me free is NOT me running from getting too close to people, NOT me being fearful of people seeing the real me and then wanting to walk away, NOT me hiding my heart from those who wish to love me…no, what keeps me free is loving and receiving love. I feel more free now than ever before.

Thank you God. Thank you for this peace and love. Thank you.

Make Everything Your Own

I have to completely agree with Mr. Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson…and this theory and practice obviously works well for him. He has built an empire unto himself…he came in as a hustler, a rapper hungry for independence of everyone. And he has done it…and he continues to do it. I respect the man for this tenacity and focus…and his independence. It is something I strive to gain more of each and every day — doing what resonates most with me and trusting my own decisions, vision and voice. It ain’t easy but it is highly feasible and important to do. I hate being dependent upon others or acting from a space where I cannot stand on my own two feet…

What he states here is the same as what Marianne Williamson speaks to — believing in our own truth, embracing it and trusting in it not only liberates ourselves but liberates those around us to remember and see that it is feasible to do it and that it is so well worth it. Freedom to be oneself is the utmost freedom any of us can ever experience. Ever.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Being Beyonce

As I sit here, unbraiding my hair from these cornrows, I am reflecting on how my Halloween night went…and how I was left quite unimpressed.

But more importantly, I am reflecting on the importance of envisioning a goal and then setting out all the steps to get it. Take for example my Beyonce costume. I have been (constantly) talking about being Beyonce for Halloween, about learning the Single Ladies dance, and about just going all out and looking like Beyonce. So..I set my sights on doing just that…and I made sure I ordered leotard, shoes, and tights in time for me to try them on and complete the outfit. I also was sure to get an official wig and not half-step at all on any detail for this costume. Sooo…when it came time for me to be Beyonce for Halloween, there was no room for the possibility of me not being Beyonce.

On the other hand, when it came to the aspect of the parties I would attend during Halloween, I flippantly shrugged my shoulders and assumed that there would be plenty of parties at my disposal…therefore, I did not need to worry about that part too much (which probably led to my disappointment/annoyance this evening, but I digress).

Which leads me to my actual point – at a certain point, specifically when someone asked me about the parties, I made a choice at that very moment. I made a choice that being Beyonce was much, much more important than determining which parties I would attend on Halloween night. It was so important to me, that I had even learned the dance to perform if the song ever came on while at a party, lol. Which would also explain why I really wasn’t very mad about the party being a bust tonight — it was not of high significance to me. Now, if my wig had gotten messed up and I couldn’t wear it…all hell would have broken loose.

So, I guess I walk away with two things from this recent reflection. One, we all make choices at every moment about what is important to us and what is not important to us…regardless of whether or not we consciously realize it. Second, due to the fact that we are always making choices, being conscious of the ones that are important to you is very crucial in this life. If we spend all of our time trying to put our energy into spaces/people/etc. that we have already deemed unimportant, we are taking away time and energy from the spaces/people/etc. that are truly important to us.

So…I guess I am actually not annoyed that I couldn’t party like I wanted to this Halloween evening….annoyed I stood on line for a long time in painful shoes, but all in all, I accomplished what was most important to me – being Beyonce.

Question though — what is most important to you at this moment in your life?

Mine? Getting some food to eat, lol…check in with you all later!

‘This Is It’ Opens, Fans RAVE

I was worried about watching this movie…I was worried that people were going to exploit Michael Jackson’s legacy for a quick buck. But, given so many people’s positive responses, I think I am going to go and see it — celebrating a shooting star (for music and so much more) who will live on forever in so many people’s hearts.

We love you Michael Jackson!
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Barack Obama Is Doing My Job; Why America Needs Him to Do His

“Misery that is avoidable — if only Barack Obama would stop acting like a pundit, egging on change from the sideline, and start acting like the president, dictating the game from the middle of the field.”

I have to say that I completely agree with Arianna here — our President needs to start acting like the President of the United States, the leader of the free world…instead of sitting on his hands and waiting out other people’s positions. Not only did I vote for this man but I also put my money, time and energy on the line to put him in office. And now I am having serious doubts about his capability to lead and to push this country in the direction it needs to go. I will not always agree with him but I need for him to actually take a stand — so we have something to debate. Instead, he continues to not take a stand, continues to hope for the best and completely seems to forget to plan for the worst. Frankly, I am not sure if his current behavior is a part of some larger “strategy” to deal with those who did not vote for him that none of us are privy to at the moment — but I hope by the time we hit 2010, we start to better understand this “strategy”­…otherwi­se, I’m going to have to seriously reconsider why I voted for him in the first place.

Read more at: http://bit.ly/41otkL
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

K’naan: The Problem of Charity

K’naan: The Problem of Charity

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Why Joe Biden Should Resign

During the Bush administration, the American people were treated as children who just needed to be told what to do…and that was how that administration was run from within as well.

So please, please — do not compare the two administrations on this issue. I would rather my President decide to do something I disagree with if at the very least I know that the debate has been had within AND outside of the administration. At the very least, I know that there is some actual discussion and thought occurring versus commands just being given.

Please Arianna — your call for his resignation sounds quite noble but quite frankly, not really best for the country. That is like me telling someone to quit their job when they have not set themselves up with a future plan — it is noble, feels good at the moment (and maybe even a few weeks afterward) but then stagnation­/upheaval/­fear, etc. sets in without any plan in sight.

So if you suggest VP Biden resign, please, please have a whole list of what our next steps will be to find a worthy VP candidate, handle the fallout of his resignation and the possible blacklash he would face for “abandoning” the country during its time of need.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Why Joe Biden Should Resign

I have to wholeheartedly disagree with Arianna. I think that it is important that Vice President Biden stands behind his words…I do. I also think it is healthy and sound for VP Biden to openly disagree with President Obama — it reminds us that our current administration is not going to always agree with each other and that is a fact of life. However, for VP Biden to resign? What good would that do for the administration, our country and the troops in Afghanistan? If VP Biden resigns, than that the throws the Obama administration into a complete upheaval — more than it has been through since its inception. Right now, the American people need our administration to be as stable as it can be…the American people are going through enough already than to have to deal with more upheaval, surprises and deep issues.

In regards to comparing VP Biden to those members of the Bush administration? It is definitely a stretch simply because those who were a part of the Bush administration were individuals who did not really speak out until AFTER all was said and done, AFTER so many of our troops died in Iraq and Afghanistan, AFTER they left or were forced to leave the Bush administration. Their public silence did the American people no good whatsoever because it did not let us know whether or not we had an ally within that administration for our opposing opinions.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

What life would I lead if I knew how and when it all ended?

I have not written here in a while…hmm….it definitely has been quite a while.

I sometimes wonder if there is an expiration date on things. There must be, right? I mean, it would only make sense since my very existence has an expiration date, right? I know, I know…that sounds quite morbid….but it is honest and a bit raw.

We are all going to die some day, at some moment. We are all going to leave this Earth in the very physical forms that we carry around…all of us. Birth and death are the two constants for human beings — in fact, these lay the foundation for the framework within which we create our lives.

My birth — a birth on a Sunday evening in July. A birth, with a name given to me, filled with meaning and hope. My birth signified, for my parents, their very first child. My birth, for my parents, signified their only daughter. My birth has defined so much of who I am…or so much of who I believe I am. My zodiac sign(s), my birth chart, my highly pleasant association with the season of summer, even my love of specific numbers — they all have stemmed from my birth and the meaning(s) that I have given it.

But what if we worked backwards? What if we worked from the vantage point that someday we are al going to die? What if we focused on our death instead of our birth to define us? Would we do things differently? Would we take more leaps of faith? Would we push for love, happiness and excitement all the days of our lives, instead of just when we get older and reflect upon all that we might regret? Would we love with all of our hearts, even in the face of rejection, simply because we already knew that this would not be the moment to break us, to take our life? What would we do if we could see the end of it all?

What would I do? What life would I lead if I knew how and when it all ended?

Morbid thought? Maybe. Honest thought? Definitely.

Off to go and have some honest thoughts….until next time!